This week all anyone’s talking about is Swine Flu, and because Martha Hucker is a Very Serious source of international news, and because there were no World Cups to cover this weekend, we thought we’d do a story on it too. See, we’re just like Channel Three news, but with even more shiny-eyed enthusiasm when stuff goes wrong.

So if you’re depressed by the thought that all your time spent hanging out with pigs may be about to catch up with you, and all you can think when you’re rolling into that big gap jump is ‘gee I wonder if my Tamiflu has expired?’, it’s time to join up to the SFSZKMBA.

Being a part of the Swine Flu Survivors’ Zombie-Killing Mountain Bike Army group on facebook will help you cope when the rest of humanity who actually succumbed to the flu come back as zombies. Zombies who will probably take years to be trained to do anything useful for us, such as drive shuttle trucks… But being part of a world-wide militant organisation is a good solution for the interim.

I guess Martha Hucker is nothing like other media after all, news is meant to scare the crap out of everyone and spread fear and paranoia, right? Ah well, I guess the prospect of riding bikes more just gives everything a positive spin!

Remember to increase your chances of survival by riding your bike… LOTS!

Older: Sea Otter Downhill: Tracy Moseley just keeps on winning!

Fresher: Rachel Atherton - Off the bike, but onto your screen

Published on 29/04/2009 by Martha Hucker.